Shattered Mirror
by Flawless Beauti
Summary: Implied of Twincest. Dark themes, attempted suicide, and mentions of cutting. Kaorus' thoughts about Haruhi and Hikarus' relationship. They aren't as sweet as some might think.
1. Chapter 1

_Do dates normally last this long? I don't think they do, although considering I've never been on one I could be wrong. I blow softly on the window and watch as the glass fogs up. I look through it to the empty street, and even though I can't really see anything I'm more content then when I could see it all. The fog starts to slip away and I blow again, desperate to keep it there._

I wonder if this is how my life will always be, with me creating illusions and seeing only what I want to see. I suppose that isn't a good thing, though at the moment I couldn't tell you why not. I glance at the clock as its chimes echo through our house. 

_**It's twelve o'clock.  
**__It's been five hours since you left to go with her on the date. You've been planning this for months. When you told me she accepted I couldn't help but answer your smile; I had never seen you look so alive._

I thought I could _manag__e. A movie could only last for so long, right? __I clutch the blanket closer to my body. After the first three hours I had succumbed to the chills and went to get it before I continued waiting. I laugh and then flinch as I realize the sound is bitter, though I can't help myself. Have I always fallen under pressure, only to wrap myself in false security and continue on?_

I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to see where they take me.

_**It's two o'clock**.  
__Seven hours now have passed. Are you enjoying yourself? Surely you must be. I wonder what's taking so long. Did you finish the movie and then take her for coffee? Did that lead to going to her place?_

Are you now wrapped in her arms, her breath coming in gasps against your sweaty skin? Is she- But I can't think about those thoughts. I'm the good one, the one who doesn't know about hatred and revenge and jealous rages.

So I can't think about that, because if I do then I don't know what would happen. These emotions are unfamiliar to me, and for once you aren't here to soothe my fears. When did you step away, and where was I when it happened?

_**It's four o'clock.**  
__I gave up counting the hours. __My head is __against the glass so every time I take a breath the fog returns and I see the outside world the way I want -blurry- and I can decipher the unrecognizable shapes the way I will._

In less than four hours time I will have had a shower, maybe choked down breakfast and be at school. Maybe you will be there, an apologetic look in your eye. Maybe you will try to explain how the time slipped away. Maybe for once you won't watch her, and will have eyes for me once again. Maybe wishes are better left to the fairytales.

_**It's six o'clock**.  
__I bathe mechanically, the water cooler than usual to accommodate my chilled body. I call myself a fool for waiting up all night for you; you would think I'd know you better by now. The breakfast that greets me is wonderful as usual._

The aromas tickle my nose, inviting me to come and taste_. I don't think I have ever felt so sick in my life, and I beeline outside and to the waiting car. I am early to school today. I feel like I'm going to be sick. It takes a great deal of effort for me to move my body, yet when I see you I immediately smile._

You smile back and I open my mouth to call to you when someone runs past me and into your arms. You laugh and swing her around. I take it things went well for you last night. For some reason I can't find the strength to care. I walk past you, and neither of us acknowledges the other.

_Everyone has noticed something isn't right. __Everyone except you.__ Even she came to me, brown eyes concerned and then hurt at my venomous response. That was the first time you had ever yelled at me and truly meant it._

That was the day everyone else unders_tood__. That was the day she defended me against you, something I could have never in my worst nightmare thought would happen. That was the day it was driven home to me._

We were no longer 'we' or 'us' and it wasn't 'them' or 'they'. It was 'you' and 'him'; _'me' and 'her'. I don't think you ever noticed how the blanket never left the window, or how the bed was always made and un-slept in. You didn't notice. And that hurt me more than anything else, __Hikaru._

_**It's been four months and three days.  
**__I think it's amusing how despair and pain are better than coffee and caffeine when it comes to keeping somebody awake, and I honestly can't remember the last time I slept for longer than an hour._

Maybe that's why my thoughts have taken a turn for the worse. The lack of sleep and little food must be getting to me finally. Surely that would explain why my mind is thinking these irrational thoughts to be perfectly normal and even enticing. When the first mark appears there is relief I haven't felt in a long time. There are feelings that I've forgotten existed.

Feelings I haven't felt for exactly four months, four days, and twelve hours._I purposely wear short sleeves in hopes you'll see the lines marking my skin. I__ tell myself I'm not disappointed because it hasn't been enough time and not because I was never expecting you to see._

_Hunny cried today. As soon as I walked into the Host Club he took a single look at me and began sobbing. I stared at him blankly as the other members looked on with different expressions._

I reached out hesitantly and placed a hand on his, offering a weak smile when he looked at me through tear-stained eyes. "What is it?" He took a shuddering breath and leaned forward, placing his rabbit in my arms and himself in my lap.

"When did it happen?" His voice is so soft even though I am holding him I have to _strain to hear it. "When did it become so bad?" He looks up at me, all tears now gone. I blink at him. I had forgotten he was older, but in moments like these it's hard to forget. I say nothing and he clutches his bunny closer and slides off my lap__, a thoughtful expression crossing his face before he unexplainably brightens__. "_

This is a cause for cake. You can _even __have the strawberry.__ But I want the strawberry too, so maybe we can split it.? Unless you don't want it, then I can have it!__" I offer him another slight smile at his own way of comforting me__ and proceed to choke down the sugary sweet. It appeases him, and nobody notices when I leave earlier than usual. I wonder how long that has been going on._

_Denial is a wonderful thing. It clouds your vision and keeps you safe in your web of illusions and lies. But slowly the truth will sink in and your web will start to fall apart. You will catch glimpses of how your life really is and you will fight to keep it the way you want it to be. But your perfect world will fall apart around you, and you will fall with it._

Because how can you survive when nothing is what you thought it was? How can you walk that fine line between acceptance and realization? How can you keep your balance and not fall into this sudden void you yourself created, however unintentional?

You _cannot, or so I've found. __Because eventually you will tip over and fall.__ And all your delusions, illusions and lies won't be there to catch you from the cold truth. I wish somebody had told me that. As it was, I was unprepared for what happened when I took that fateful fall into the reality that had always been, this time unaltered. The truth stares me dead in the face, mocking me because it knows now that I can't turn away or hide._

Not this time. But I can't handle it either, not as I am. So I turn to something that is both pleasantly numbing and painfully destructive. 

_**It's been six months and some days.  
Or has it been seven months?  
**I can't remember anymore. What happens when you lose the will to live? I use to wonder that, whenever people said that was how they died._ They just lost the will to live_. Or the ever famous,_ they died from a broken heart.__

I never really believed that could happen until I felt it firsthand. How could mental, psychological pain be transferred into physical? I'm still not sure, but it happened. I don't wonder about those questions anymore though, because I can answer them all.

_What happens when you lose the will to live? You stop eating and sleeping. Your mind drifts to unpleasant things that sound tempting in their allure.You can't focus on anything and your body goes on auto-pilot._

You don't want to move; every step is harder to take than the last. Sometimes you smile and joke like you use to do; only there is no emotion behind it. If anyone took the time to look in your eyes they would see that, but maybe they are scared of what they would see. You become numb. You don't care. You feel nothing _because you are nothing. It's the only explanation you can come up with._

And then you hit the bottom, and you think 'only up from here'. But then Fate laughs cruelly and hands you a shovel and your rock bottom sinks deeper as you dig and you think how it's truly pathetic you've hit the bottom of rock bottom. And then instead of just thinking of the unpleasant things you give into the temptation and once again you feel and it is wonderful.

But it fades. And then it's harder and harder to get to, until it seems you can never really have it again. And that's when you decide you're fucked if you do and fucked if you don't.

As the brown book was closed Kaoru smiled for the first time in a year. True it was a slight smirk and more bittersweet than anything but it was close. He wondered what they would think after reading what he had written. He wondered if his –no, her- Hikaru would cry.

He wondered who all would come. He wondered if they would understand. But most of all he wondered why it made a smile tug at the corner of his lips when he thought about the tears they would shed. It sounded sadistic, getting pleasure from other's pain but he thought he deserved it.

After all, he had sacrificed a year of pain for his brother's pleasure. He sat the journal softly on his brother's bed and took another look around, breathing deeply. For its owner to have changed so much the room hadn't changed at all.

With a soft sigh, more resigned than anything, Kaoru turned and left the house. His ending was bound to be messy, and there was no sense giving the maids the added grief of cleaning up after him.

**x-x-x-x**

**A/N: Haha. I'm evil. I was re-reading this and thinking 'what the hell was I thinking?'  
****This will probably have a second chapter, but I don't know if I want a sad ending or not.**


	2. Hope in the Horizon

A/N: This story begins the same as the other version. I do believe you should realize when the similarities end.

_**x-x-x-x-x**_

_**This wasn't happening. Hikaru flipped back to the first page and began reading again, though he was sure he could recite it by heart now. Kaoru didn't think like this. He wasn't this type of person.**_

He would have told him if something had been wrong. But Hikaru felt the dread slowly increase. He had seen the blanket by the window; noticed the marks that graced his brother's arms. He would have told him if it was important. _Not if he thought you were enjoying yourself.__****_

Hikaru felt what little blood had been left in his face drain away as the voice's words echoed inside his head. Now if conscious decides to make an appearance. With trembling fingers he picked up the phone, managing after several attempts to dial in the right numbers. This couldn't have been left here long. He had probably found this hours before he was supposed to.

The sun hadn't even finished setting yet, after all. If they hurried there was time. 

_**Ring.  
**__****__Please pick up.  
__**Ring.  
**__****__I swear I'll do anything if you answer the phone.  
____**Ring.  
**__****__I don't have time for this. Answer.  
____**Ring.  
**__****__Please.  
__**Ring.  
**__****__Please.  
__****__**Ri**__**-**_

_**"What." Hikaru had never been so glad to have Kyoya snap at him. "Kaoru left a journal and he isn't here and the journal has…and I think he's going to….but I need to find him and**__**..and**__**…" He trailed off with a shuddering breath, tears running unnoticed down his cheeks as he waited for Kyoya to process the jumbled statement.**_

_**"How long?"**__** Hikaru let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "I'm not sure. He didn't expect for me to be home so earlier and….oh god Kyoya this is my-**__**" Kyoya's**__** sharp voice crackled over the phone, cutting him off. "If you want to mope do it later. We don't have time for you to have a pity party. Meet me outside, with the journal, in five minutes. I need to make some phone calls."**_

Hikaru dropped the dead phone and clutched the book to his chest, trying to reign in _**what little composure he had left. When the shuddering had become manageable and he thought he could move away from the wall without falling he slunk outside, falling against the railing as his legs gave out once again. Kaoru's words seemed to mock him, echoing in his head and growing louder with each second **__**spend**__** in silence.**_

_**He wasn't sure how much longer he waited before Kyoya was there, his cool hands half leading and half dragging him to the car. He didn't see the other Host Member's worried faces or notice when Kyoya took the journal from him and began to read aloud.**_

But he did notice when Hunny met his eyes. The sharpness of the gaze cut through the panic-induced fog that surrounded him, and the accusation in those eyes cut him almost as much as his brother's words had. He glanced around slowly. There was Tamaki, no smiles for once, talking quietly with a worried looking Kyoya. There was Mori, holding Hunny in his lap and nodding at whatever the smaller boy was saying.

There was Haruhi, sitting beside him and he only just noticed that his hand was entwined with hers. She met his eyes and it was over. 

_**The tears he had been withholding burst forth in a mass of hysteria the likes none had seen. He saw everything he should have noticed before. He realized when the last time Kaoru had joked or even **__**smiled**__**. He realized what a fool he had been for not saying a word.**_

Haruhi didn't say a word as he sobbed on her. She held him until the tears were gone and the numbness had sat in. But there were still tears falling onto his face. He glanced up in time to see Haruhi turn away and bury her head into Tamaki's shoulder.

Realization hit and he could have starts with the waterworks all over again._****__**She blamed herself. If he hadn't been so irresponsible neither of them would be hurting. He was a bigger fool than their Lord. **__**Their Lord.**__** What if it wasn't 'their' anymore?**_

He turned to Kyoya who was talking quietly but furiously on the phone and tapping at the laptop at the same time. He would find him if he could be found. Hikaru had no doubt about that. He just wished he was as confident about finding him alive as he was finding him period.

Time seemed to slow again as the haziness built. Voices were soft and words unrecognizable before a sudden exclamation jerked his head up. "Left and then take a right before going straight three miles and then a left…No a right! Just go to the Elementary School." Hikaru felt his throat constrict. _**"Elementary school?"**__** Kyoya turned to him.**_

"He was seen heading there. I'm confident we…" But whatever he was going to say fell on deaf ears as Hikaru grasped at his chest almost blindly. The feeling of dread was back, so painful it made him gasp.

_**He looked at Kyoya through half-lidded eyes, pleading with him to get the message. "Faster." Apparently he had.**_

_**Hikaru was the first one out of the car. He didn't stop to wait for the others and didn't pause to take in the sight of elementary students and teachers alike being restrained by **__**Ootori**__** special police. His brother needed him. He spun around a corner and froze.**_

"Kaoru don't you dare!" His brother turned towards him, looking fairly surprised. Hikaru tried to make his legs move but they remained where they were. "Kaoru I mean it." His brother raised an eyebrow. "Why?" He positioned the silver blade closer to his neck and Hikaru suddenly found himself able to move. He was flying across the playground and before either one of them realized it had jumped over the bench and tackled his younger twin.

"You idiot." He murmured, hands in his hair and head bowed. Kaoru remained silent. "You id-idiot." He took a shuddering breath and looked up. "How could you ever think that? Kaoru I could never leave you. I would never want to." Kaoru cocked his head. "But Haruhi-" Hikaru laughed. "Haruhi was helping me do something for you." Kaoru frowned. "But you stayed with her…"

Hikaru bowed his head, nuzzling the pale neck below him. "Most of the time we forgot about the time and fell asleep at her place. How could you ever think I could forget about you? Why didn't you tell me?" Kaoru narrowed his eyes. "Why didn't you notice?"

Hikaru sighed and lifted his head to lock eyes with his twin. "Because I was excited and foolishly thought my twin would come to me no matter what, because he knew he was the most important thing in my life. How foolish of me to think that." Kaoru had the grace to blush. "Do you have any idea how worried everyone was?" Kaoru bent his head and grinned at the scowling teenagers behind him. "Oops?"

Hikaru sighed, releasing the death grip he had on the others shirt and sitting back, allowing him to sit up as well. "So what exactly was the surprise?"

Hikaru scowled and stood up, brushing off his pants. "I was trying to find the right ring. You are damn hard to shop for you know." He glanced down at the suddenly silent Kaoru. "Do you mean that?" Hikaru nodded. "You are a pain to shop for."

Kaoru frowned. "Why'd you need a ring?" Hikaru groaned and glanced over at Haruhi who nodded. He groaned again. "This was not how I pictured it." He scowled down at his younger twin. "I needed a ring because I couldn't propose without one." Kaoru still looked confused and Hikaru sighed again before bending down and taking his mirror images' face between his hands.

"I.Love.You.And.Want.To.Marry.You.To do that, I needed a ring. Though you've blown my proposal to hell and back again." Kaoru grinned at him sheepishly. "Well, at least this way my whole attempted-suicide thing will blow over with mom easier. She'll have a hissy fit planning the wedding." Hikaru shook his head and tried not to laugh.

**-3 Months Later-**

"Haruhi I can't do it!" Haruhi restrained a sigh and shook her head. "Yes you can Hikaru. All you have to do is walk down the nice red carpet to where your twin and future husband awaits you." Tamaki appeared beside her, grinning. "It's beautiful though isn't it? Haruhi, when Kyoya and I marry will you be my Maid of Honor too?" Haruhi sighed again.

"Tamaki! Get out there and stand beside Kaoru like the Best Man is supposed to." She turned an apologetic look to Hikaru. "I have to go too. It'll be easy though, alright?" With a final nod she slipped through the door. Hikaru felt faint. He couldn't do it. No way. It wouldn't work. The people would all turn to look at him and…oh god are the doors opening?

His breath hitched and the room titled sideways as everyone in the room turned to stare at him. He felt the blood rush from his face and made a strangled sound before he looked to the front and forgot o breath. He was beautiful; Hikaru normally forgot how much. He couldn't leave him there. He didn't want to. Their eyes caught and the room of people vanished. He loved him. There was no need for complicated thinking.

He blinked and was beside him. Another blink and the words were slipping from his mouth as if he had memorized them. Then the soft lips he knew so well were on his and he forgot to breath. He looked into eyes, so similar to his own and yet so different, and smiled. What was he now? His friend? Lover? Husband? Kaoru smiled back and Hikaru decided it didn't matter, because he was beside him and that was all that mattered.

Sure things were going to change, but they could get through anything. They turned to see a room of crying people, their mother and Tamaki at the front. Except that. Hikaru turned to Kaoru who suddenly looked very, very nervous. "I think we should make a break for it. If we can get to the door we're free." Kaoru laughed. "We'd never make it."

As Kaoru watched Hikaru being smothered by crying women he thought back. He had thought Hikaru was gone forever; nothing more but a shattered image in a shattered mirror. He had thought maybe he wasn't Hikaru's other half. He had thought he was unneeded, unloved even. Hikaru glanced over and sent him a plea of salvation in his desperate look and Kaoru snorted. Unneeded. Right. He walked over to pry Hikaru away and wondered what exactly he had thinking when he thought Hikaru couldn't care for him.

_"…He is more __myself__ than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."__-Catherine about Heathcliff in __Wuthering Heights_

**A/N: Why are there quotes from Wuthering Heights?  
Because I feel that they fit. I mean really: imagine Kaoru saying that. It's possible, right? –****shot****-**


	3. We All Fall Down

This wasn't happening. Hikaru flipped back to the first page and began reading again, though he was sure he could recite it by heart now. Kaoru didn't think like this. He wasn't this type of person. He would have told him if something had been wrong. But Hikaru felt the dread slowly increase. He had seen the blanket by the window; noticed the marks that graced his brother's arms.

He would have told him if it was important. _Not if he thought you were enjoying yourself._ Hikaru felt what little blood had been left in his face drain away as the voice's words echoed inside his head. Now if conscious decides to make an appearance.

With trembling fingers he picked up the phone, managing after several attempts to dial in the right numbers. This couldn't have been left here long. He had probably found this hours before he was supposed to. The sun hadn't even finished setting yet, after all. If they hurried there was time.

_Ring.  
__**Please pick up.**  
__Ring.  
__**I swear I'll do anything if you answer the phone.**  
__Ring.  
__**I don't have time for this. Answer.**  
__Ring.  
__**Please.**  
__Ring.  
__**Please.  
**__Ri__-_

"What." Hikaru had never been so glad to have Kyoya snap at him. "Kaoru left a journal and he isn't here and the journal has…and I think he's going to….but I need to find him and..and…" He trailed off with a shuddering breath, tears running unnoticed down his cheeks as he waited for Kyoya to process the jumbled statement. "How long?" Hikaru let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "I'm not sure. He didn't expect for me to be home so earlier and….oh god Kyoya this is my-" Kyoya's sharp voice crackled over the phone, cutting him off.

"If you want to mope do it later. We don't have time for you to have a pity party. Meet me outside, with the journal, in five minutes. I need to make some phone calls." Hikaru dropped the dead phone and clutched the book to his chest, trying to reign in what little composure he had left.

When the shuddering had become manageable and he thought he could move away from the wall without falling he slunk outside, falling against the railing as his legs gave out once again. Kaoru's words seemed to mock him, echoing in his head and growing louder with each second spend in silence.

He wasn't sure how much longer he waited before Kyoya was there, his cool hands half leading and half dragging him to the car. He didn't see the other Host Member's worried faces or notice when Kyoya took the journal from him and began to read aloud. But he did notice when Hunny met his eyes.

The sharpness of the gaze cut through the panic-induced fog that surrounded him, and the accusation in those eyes cut him almost as much as his brother's words had. He glanced around slowly. There was Tamaki, no smiles for once, talking quietly with a worried looking Kyoya.

There was Mori, holding Hunny in his lap and nodding at whatever the smaller boy was saying. There was Haruhi, sitting beside him and he only just noticed that his hand was entwined with hers. She met his eyes and it was over.

The tears he had been withholding burst forth in a mass of hysteria the likes none had seen. He saw everything he should have noticed before. He realized when the last time Kaoru had joked or even smiled. He realized what a fool he had been for not saying a word. Haruhi didn't say a word as he sobbed on her. She held him until the tears were gone and the numbness had sat in. But there were still tears falling onto his face.

He glanced up in time to see Haruhi turn away and bury her head into Tamaki's shoulder. Realization hit and he could have starts with the waterworks all over again.She blamed herself. If he hadn't been so irresponsible neither of them would be hurting. He was a bigger fool than their Lord. Their Lord. What if it wasn't 'their' anymore? He turned to Kyoya who was talking quietly but furiously on the phone and tapping at the laptop at the same time. He would find him if he could be found. Hikaru had no doubt about that. He just wished he was as confident about finding him _alive_ as he was finding him period.

Time seemed to slow again as the haziness built. Voices were soft and words unrecognizable before a sudden exclamation jerked his head up. "Left and then take a right before going straight three miles and then a left…No a right! Just go to the Elementary School." Hikaru felt his throat constrict. "Elementary school?" Kyoya turned to him. "He was seen heading there. I'm confident we…" But whatever he was going to say fell on deaf ears as Hikaru grasped at his chest almost blindly.

The feeling of dread was back, so painful it made him gasp. He looked at Kyoya through half-lidded eyes, pleading with him to get the message. "Faster." Apparently he had.

Hikaru was the first one out of the car. He didn't stop to wait for the others and didn't pause to take in the sight of elementary students and teachers alike being restrained by Ootori special police. His brother needed him. He spun around a corner and froze.

There was his brother, sprawled on _their _bench, surrounded by…no. Hikaru wasn't aware he was moving until he collapsed on the ground beside the bench, the substance that had pooled below seeping into his pants. It wasn't too late. He refused to believe it was too late.

He lifted a shaking hand to his brothers cheek, caressing the pale flesh softly even as a choked sob tore itself from his throat. His brothers amber eyes stared back at him, unmoving and unforgiving.

_You did this.  
_"No."  
_You wanted me dead.  
_"Oh god never."  
_You have her all to yourself now.  
_"I was never wanted her."  
_Liar._

Hikaru shook his head and wound his fingers into the orange hair, pulling their faces closer together until their foreheads touched. "I never wanted her." Hands pulled softly at his arms, than grew forceful as he resisted. "No." The hands grew stronger as he fought against them and voices were raised in argument. A slight prick and all went black and blissfully, beautifully quiet.

**_"We meet in the name of Jesus Christ,  
who died and was raised to the glory of God the Father.  
Grace and mercy be with you."_**

_I do__n'__t want grace and mercy. I __want __my__ brother.__ I wonder what my mother will say._

_**"We have come here todayto remember before God our Brother Kaoru Hitachiin;  
to give thanks for his life;  
to commend him to God our merciful redeemer and judge;  
to commit his body to be buried,and to comfort one another in our grief."**_

_What did he mean remember? Had people already forgotten? It had only been three days. __I hope God i__s merciful as well as a judge. Maybe he would be a merciful judge and understand why he had to do it._

_To comfort one another.__ There could be no comfort for him; couldn't they see that? Not until he was back in his brother's arms. Was it a sin to be thinking that in church? _

Hikaru let out a slight snort of amusement that had people nearby shaking their heads sadly. Hikaru could imagine what they were thinking. _The poor dear. The mental strain must have finally got to him._He shook his head and tried to focus on the words and ignore how the world was titled and becoming unfocused. It wouldn't do to pass out in time to be revived now would it?

_**"Your mighty power brings joy out of griefand life out of death.  
Look in mercy on [… and all who mourn.  
Give them patient faith in times of darkness.  
Strengthen them with the knowledge of your love."**_

He had missed some of the prayers as he mused. That was disappointing, but he couldn't have picked a better time to zone in. He squinted at the man standing before his brother's coffin. He knew he was saying…something.

But the words were fuzzy and blankness was creeping into the corners of his vision. His heart beat faster and the room, what little he could see, spun. He shut his eyes before a scream forced them open again. Well then. The carpet was the most interesting shade of red.

He never had appreciated the beauty of carpet before. It was simply lovely. But then the world titled one last time and his heart slowed to a stop, and the carpet vanished from view.

_"…I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"- Heathcliff to Catherine in Wuthering Heights  
_**x-x-x-x**

_She couldn't believe she had lost them both, though she should have seen it coming. Neither of them could live without the other, no matter what other people tried to say. She had once heard that twins were __lovers who had died to be together, and so Fate granted their last wish and brought them together again in the closest bond __She__ could. She had never believed that before meeting Hikaru and Kaoru._

She had never believed a lot before she met them. The double funeral as probably going on now, but she couldn't bring herself to sit through it. She had thought herself selfish but was strangely unsurprised when the Host Club showed up at her door, all looking as she felt.

Tamaki smiled at her softly and she spared him a smile as well before he turned back to Kyoya and _she__ to her window. _

_Fate was a very cruel person, she decided. Perhaps __She__ did reunite lost lovers, though if She had been fair in the first place there would be no need. It was a cruel joke the entire thing._

If she had thought how Kaoru must see it she would have spo_ken up and told him the truth: t__hat Hikaru was too excited to see __his brother, but not because of her as he had thought. She lifted a pillow and took out a small box, a smile playing across her lips._

Fate was cruel indeed, she thought as she examined the simple gold engagement ring. _Cruel indeed._

_**x-x-x**_

**A/N: Those are actually prayers said at a funeral. I believe they are Christian. I felt ****so**** very morbid as I looked them up.**

**On another note, I was reading Wuthering Heights and decided to use a quote from the book.  
****Then I thought the other, happy ending needed one as well.**

(This means there is a happy version of this. I depressed myself writing this out and had to make amends with my muse.)


End file.
